I was sitting in my therapy session tonight (yes I am a therapist who gets counseling go figure) and my therapist asked me the weirdest question. He asked me could I be content in this life if all I had was God. I could not have family or friends. I could not be important or significant in any way. I could not be someone that others looked up to. It had to be just God and I. I must admit this question threw me for a loop because it had never been asked of me before. As I sat there and pondered this question for a bit I came to a scary conclusion. I am not at a place spiritually yet where I can be content with God alone.
Some would say that I should be ashamed to verbalize that thought much less write about it. I am just admitting to it so that I can be honest with myself and begin to know what part of my spiritual life needs to be strengthened. Many people will say that this part of spiritual formation is easy for them, but how many of us can truly say that we desire nothing else but to have God in our life. It would be difficult to be alone and not have the relationships that we have built on earth. I believe God calls us to this mindset, but it is a journey that takes some time to complete. It is my prayer that I will become more comfortable with God in a way that He provides all my needs. I want Him to solely provide the affirmation, praise, and support that
I need so that I will not seek it in a selfish manner.
So where are you in this journey? Are you content with God alone? Am I the only one who admittedly has this problem?
Thursday, June 28, 2007
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You're human; and faith wouldn't ever be thought about if it weren't tested, or if questions like this weren't asked, I don't think. But this is hard to fathom, also. I might 'say' I could be content with God alone, but who knows if I really would, should the time come when I actually would be. I do know that when I moved away from my family - my dearest "friends" - turning more toward God turned out better than I expected :) I guess I'd have to leave it to my faith and say yes, God would see to it that I was content alone with Him, if I could just say that is what I wanted. ?
I also don't really believe that God intends for us to be alone, and that such a thing would never happen :o)
(That *is* a hard question to answer!)
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