Why Did I Get Married (Part Three)

What does a contract marriage look like? Contract marriage bases the security and stability of the marriage on the ability of people not to sin. As long as neither one of us mess up then we can stay together, but once someone sins then it is time for a divorce. I would compare this relationship to my contract that I currently have with AT & T. They both have three characteristics in common:

1)Made for a limited period of time
I signed a two year contract with my cell phone company. During this two year period we are STUCK together. If I decided to leave then there are steep penalties that must be paid. In a contract marriage we look at the relationship from a short-term perspective. I will stay with you only until something better comes along.

There are now places considering a seven year marriage. In this relationship you cannot divorce unless their is sexual immorality or spousal abuse. Outside these two 'deal breakers' you are bound to your spouse for seven years. Once the seven years is up you have the choice to sign a new contract or go on your separate ways. Some say this is the way to go, but I do not believe this is what God intended marriage to look like.

2) Each party is bound to specific responsibilities
With my cell phone company I am responsible for paying my bill every month. If I choose not to pay it then they will discontinue my service. When I am paying my bill they are bound to providing service for me. These responsibilities are outlined in very small print on the contract that was given to me. It is my responsibility to know what is expected of me because AT & T will hold me to it even if I do not read the fine print.

In a contract marriage both spouses are expecting certain things from each other (communication, companionship, intimacy, etc.) What happens when one spouse does not 'keep up their end of the deal'? Do I have the right to divorce them because they have broken the contract? I would surely hope not! Each of us daily do not live up to the expectations of our spouse. There will be times when we are not as kind or forgiving as the other one is expecting. Do we just call it quits when this happens or should we actually try to work through our problems?

3) Entered into for one’s own benefit
I don't send money to AT & T every month because I am in love with the company. I pay them money because I am getting a good deal. Once I feel like I am not getting a good deal anymore then I am going to start looking for another company to handle my phone calls. In a contract marriage each spouse is looking out for their own needs. Once my needs are not being met then it is time to find someone else who can do that for me. This is nothing short of being selfish!

I can imagine someone reading this thinking 'What is the big deal?! Isn't it my own business how I approach my marriage?' The answer to that question is a resounding 'Yes' but if I claim to be a Christian then I must view my marriage as something much different than a contract. The contract seems to be appealing to most, but it does not lead to commitment.

So where do we go next? I believe we must next take a look at the implications of a covenant marriage and the benefits we can gain from it.